There comes a point in all startups, or any company for that matter, where stress, lack of communication and\or time crunches will boil over during a conversation, or a meeting, and cause a conflict between members of the team. It does not matter if they are best friends, mutual acquaintances, boss and employee, or family conflict can and will happen. When it does happen, and it is correctly handled, this perceived negative event can be turned into a great learning opportunity.
What exactly is a conflict? In my opinion conflict is different then a disagreement as a disagreement is the difference of opinion that happens every day in a company. I would define conflict as “a conversation that is not civil and mutually respectful”, but of course does not escalate into violence as that would be a fight (something no one wants). Sometimes conflict happens quickly and only needs one single point in a conversation to take it from a disagreement to a conflict, but more often then not conflict comes from days, weeks or months of underlaying tensions before it explodes.
In a startup there are always lots of decisions to make and tasks to do, with never enough time to do them perfectly. Combine this with the uncertainty that comes with developing a new product and you have an effective environment for growing conflict. It is unavoidable, and it is okay. Most of the time conflict should be avoided by keeping lines of communication open and making sure that everyone is on the same page with the vision and way forward. But when conflict happens what do you do? What do you do when two people in your company who you know are on the same page, who both want the same thing, who are good with each other 99% of time have a conflict?
Simply find out where the tension occurs. There is a reason that conversations becomes uncivil and outside the purview of normal disagreements thus turning into conflict. To solve the conflict find out what the underlining tension is and address that issue, not what exploded into a conflict, as that was only the trigger and not the catalyst.
If you are in a position of power to solve the conflict talk it out with the two parties, sit them down give them a beer if they drink and find the common ground. Where did this anger come from and what can be done to fix it so that everyone can focus on making the company great.
If you are one of the conflicties and no one in a position of power seems willing to help you resolve the conflict, then it is up to you confront the issue. Invite the person out to lunch, after work drinks, or whatever you can to get out of the office for a little bit. And understand that you both have at least one thing in common, the desire for the company you work in to be successful (of course if this is not true then you have a whole other set of problems to worry about)
A true conflict is easy to spot when it happens. And if you are in a small company\startup it is going to happen, the only thing you can do is make the best out of the situation by learning a lesson because sometimes conflict can lead to a better understanding of all parties involved.
